One Rainy Day This Fall

I’ve been asked to write about an experience I had early last summer.
Let me introduce myself a bit first. Rick wheeler. Spiritual Director at Volunteers of America Men’s Recovery Center. I’ve done volunteer work in both our county’s jails and in our state’s prisons before going to VOA. The men I work with are coming out of life long alcohol, drug and crime driven lives. It is a rough crew I work with. Its important work to me and, even though often very difficult and frustrating, I find it immensely rewarding.
Last summer, during my daily bus commute, I was waiting at the downtown transit mall in front of the County Probation Department. Always an interesting place to hang out. I often know people going into and out of the building. Not today. That day I was busy meditating, counting beads on my prayer mala. A disturbance pushed its way into my attention. The disturbance was a very loud and angry shaven headed man.
Checking him out, “Not someone I know.” Loud heated swearing at some county employee who wasn’t giving him what he wanted. Heavily laden with crude sexual references to the employee. Loud racial slurs. Eyes were on him as people carefully positioned themselves. Pedestrians avoiding him as they walk carefully by.
In the middle of this painful crudeness, the shaven headed man turned in my direction and our eyes met. My breath caught deep in my belly. He stopped his rant and began to walk toward me. My jail and prison training kicked in. If a con begins to enter your personal space, don’t back up. Step forward into theirs. Standing up, I deliberately began to approach him. My eyes carefully on his. Now standing within feet of him I looked up at him and said, “Don't you just hate it when people mess with ya.” A pause. “And I hate it when I get me real angry.” Another pause. “Guys like you and me, we can’t afford to get real angry 'cause we keep going back to prison or jail over it.” His shoulders softened, rounded and dropped. He shifted from one foot to another. Then he let out a long slow deep breath.
“Yeah. Let it go. Breathe it out.” His face softened and his eyes took on a more relaxed tone. “You do know how to do that don’t you. You know how to let it go. You know how to calm yourself down. You do know how to keep them from getting to you. How to keep from going back to lockup.” His face lit up. Big smile on it.
“Yeah I do,” he said. Another long deliberate letting out of breath. As he began to turn away, “I’ve got some other f***ing business to attend to, and I’m late.”
“And you know do how to take care of yourself there don’t you?”
Looking over his shoulder, big smile on his face shaven headed says, “Yes I do. Thanks.” And bounces off up the street.
My bus was pulling up. Shaking my head, shaking off the encounter and it’s tension I got on and headed off to work thinking, “What the hell just happened there?”